I Fancy A Night Out
by Burningbridges
Summary: Ultimecia gets drunk, President Deling's hair gets burnt off, Raijin grills fish, blind cannibals are involved... Story one in my new series.


I got bored thinking of ways I could parody films, and I got looking at this old Harcourt Brace Writer's Journal I had to use in fifth grade for creative writing assignments from our textbooks (you probably had something like that – the flimsy workbooks they make that coincide with textbooks…). I used it a little back during the summer for brainstorming, and I found it useful when I wanted to write something spontaneous and entertaining. So, I took a look, and came across one I filled out back before my freshman year, and got the idea for this. I'll make a little series, I think. I'll call it 'I Fancy…'

I'll say that all of these are from some omniscient being's point of view, unless otherwise stated. Just pretend it's you, hehe.

Please note: All the questions I'm answering in this little series ( i.e. anything in bold), is copyright to Harcourt Brace & Company – I'm not making profit from this, so please don't sue me. And you know whom the characters belong to (Square.)

The titles are my own, and original page titles noted.

A Night Out

By Burning Bridges

(Activity's original title: 'Overnight Visit')

**Original Scenario: Imagine you're going to spend the night in a place that fascinates you. Transport yourself in your imagination to a museum, an amusement park, a department store, or other place of your choice. On the pages below, fill in your plans for spending the night there.**

**Where we'll sleep **

In a small tent just outside the gates of Galbadia Garden.

**Who will go with me**

Squall, Quistis, Zell, Selphie, Rinoa and Irvine will accompany me there.

**What I'll take**

A tent and people.

**What might happen**

President Deling will show up, looking for pastries. After they explain to him, Irvine's rifle aimed at his face, that they aren't a patisserie, he'll call up his goonies to convince them otherwise. They don't show up, so instead he'll start dancing around in a circle, and eating a stale baguette that Selphie gives him so he'll shut up. All the obnoxious dancing draws some attention from others in the area, including hungry monsters. When finally a grisly Fastitocalon comes along looking for an easy meal, he'll stop dancing, and start running.

While his pursuer preoccupies him, Ultimecia will show up and start singing a karaoke version of "World Domination", because she's drunk off her rocker. Meanwhile, the ex-Disciplinary Committee will show up, and start harassing Zell because they have nothing better to do, which leads to potted plants becoming airborne, and that ugly fish chasing the President getting KO-ed by a flying Azalea, and landing right in the barbecue pit. Raijin will immediately start grilling it, while the President catches his breath. When he has recovered, he'll order Ultimecia (who's still singing '_What are your plans for world domination?_' in an increasingly slurred voice) arrested for breaking his new law that no one can sing karaoke in the middle of nowhere without using a pickle for a microphone, and wearing a box of éclairs for a hat. Ultimecia, barely being able to see, but nevertheless having decent aim, will throw a bottle at him, and knock him head first into the pit, where what's left of his hair catches on fire, and he runs into the Garden looking for water. Ultimecia will challenge Seifer to a drinking contest, and get him drunk to the point that they're both singing "King of Wishful Thinking" together.

Zell will end up eating the fish Raijin was grilling, and puking it back up all over Fujin, who takes off after him into the desert, being trailed by the alarmed chef. Irvine and Selphie, by now being beyond words, will get up and head out to catch a movie, leaving Rinoa and Quistis to start drinking themselves – modestly at first – and then to the point that they're at each other's throats about who likes Squall more.

Squall, being the only sober and sane person present, will have a drink (so he's not quite as left out), help Seifer up off the ground, and lead him away from the disaster area to a quieter place, where they'll be… Err… Alone.

That will leave the two girls to drink themselves into an inebriation-induced sleep, and Ultimecia to wander off into the desert, trip over a rock, and get eaten by a horde of blind cannibals.

"I'll get over you

I know I will

I'll pretend my ship's not sinking

And I'll tell myself

I'm over you

'Cause I'm the King of Wishful Thinking"


End file.
